Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
