singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
