I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
