If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
