I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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