I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
