He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
