apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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