My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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