What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
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I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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