1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
