Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
