As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
