so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
