Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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