And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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