yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
