i think my mom watched the whole time
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
