He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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