So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
