it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
