you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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