i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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