I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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