Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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