And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
