if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
