im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize