she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize