How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
