Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
