Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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