Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
