just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
