Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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