i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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