Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
