The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It was confusing and full of hummus
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
