They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
