dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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