Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
