I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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