We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
