but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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