You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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