So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
