I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
