I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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