I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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