Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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