No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
