Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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