ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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