If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
