How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
