to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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